I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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