Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
