do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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