since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
