Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
