I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
