I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I am one with the molecules
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
