Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
How's work?
Spinning.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I am naked and annoyed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
