Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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