What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
