As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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