Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
