if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
