I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
