Why is your signature on my underwear?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
