first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
