I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
