Kiss
Puke
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
how can u be prego again
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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