I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
