Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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