he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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