Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Hippo gnu deer
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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