Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!

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(773): View more from Illinois

I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

ugh yes i love our date nights

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen

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(703): View more from Virginia

Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country

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(805): View more from California

Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?

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(907): View more from Alaska

He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!

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