I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it's like iHOP with fire
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
