do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
