He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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