Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
