Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
