Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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