kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
