My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
