And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
