if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
