I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
