i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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