i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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