walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
