the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Randomize
