dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
