i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
