If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
