thus making me awesome and them whores
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
