Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
