i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
