your parents love me but you hate me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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