He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
