My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
