Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
