I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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