They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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