my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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