I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
