then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
