we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
