dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He had one of those small greek statue penises
im holly from the hills drunk
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
