Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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